Parents


Parents, what are your prom plans?

Talk with your kids about your expectations, rules for the big night

So, your son or daughter is headed to the prom.  They’ve chosen their outfit, ordered flowers and decided on the perfect restaurant where they’ll have dinner with their date. They’ve lined out all their plans and are ready for the big night.

Are you? Whether you know it or not, you’re the biggest influence on your teen when it comes to making healthy choices. If you haven’t done it already, one of the most important steps you can take to help ensure a safe prom night is to talk with your kids about their plans and share your expectations of them.

As part of this important conversation:

  • Talk about your family’s rules, including curfew, and your desire for them to have fun and be safe.
  • Talk with your teen about their plans before and after the prom – the pre-functions and after-parties can be risky for kids.
  • Be clear about a no-tolerance policy on alcohol use, not attending a party where alcohol will be served and that you will not host a party where alcohol is served.
  • Develop a plan with your teen for who they can call for a ride home, with no questions asked, if they find themselves in a situation where alcohol is being served or they feel unsafe. Click here for more information about drinking and driving and prom.

Before your son escorts his date out the door, or your daughter steps into the limo, tell them you love and care about them. And remind them you have confidence in their character and ability to make good decisions.

Conversations with your teen before the prom are important, but you can also show your love and support – and reiterate your family’s rules – during the evening. Visit the “Text your kid!” page on this website to send your teen a message on the big night.

Plan a perfect – and safe – party

So, you’re adventurous enough to open your home for a prom party. It’ll be lively, with kids bringing all the energy the big night generates. For more information on ways to ensure a party will be fun, safe, and free of alcohol and other drugs click here. Or see below;

- Establish clear rules. Before the party, talk with your teen about your expectations and establish rules together. For example, make it clear alcohol and other drugs will not be tolerated and that it’s illegal and dangerous for parents to host teen parties with alcohol (penalties range from fines to imprisonment). Deciding on rules together gives your teen ownership of the event.

- Help plan activities in advance. Put your heads together – and encourage your son or daughter to brainstorm ideas with responsible friends about music and stuff to do. How about an open-mic night, a Wii or Guitar Hero competition, or watching a favorite movie?

- Make a guest list with your teen and stick to it. Sit down with your son or daughter to discuss who they want to invite, and check the list closely on party night as guests arrive. With texting and instant messaging, word of a party can spread quickly among teens. And don’t let guests come and go from the party.

- Send invitations. Consider putting your phone number on the invitations so other parents can call and ask questions about things like adult supervision at the party, allowing you to share your family’s rules as well.

- Agree on a start and end time. Put these times on the invitation.

- Be clear about which parts of the house, indoors and out, will be used for the party. Make other places off-limits.

- Monitor the party. Check on things regularly. Though your teen may not be wild about your cruising through from time to time, it’s important to put safety ahead of your popularity. Consider asking other parents to help with supervision, particularly if it’s a big group of kids. Aim for no more than 10 teens per chaperone.

- Be the enforcer. If a teen breaks a rule, ask them to leave. If a teen arrives under the influence, help arrange for their safe ride home.

- If you have alcohol at home, store it in a secure place. While statistics show most teens don’t drink, alcohol easily available at home might be tempting to kids.

- Tell your neighbors about the party plans. Share the start and end time, and let them know you’ll be there throughout the event.

- Consider forging a “safe party” agreement with your teen. Such agreements establish guidelines for parents and teens about party plans, time limits, transportation, supervision, rules that restrict uninvited guests and other issues. For more information about safe party agreements, please visit www.promperfect.org.

For a copy of a safe parties agreement, click here.

Know Oregon’s Alcohol Laws

It’s illegal to host teen parties where alcohol is served. Click here for more information about laws around teens and alcohol.  You could be fined up at $6,250 and face a year in jail for EVERY kid served in your home.  Imagine spending the rest of your life behind bars because you wanted to throw your kid a party.  Don’t serve alcohol to minors, it’s against the law!

Did you know?

Most teens say their parents are the No. 1 influence on their decision about alcohol.

The majority of kids who drink say they get their alcohol from parents, guardians or other adults.

Scientific research has found that regular alcohol use can harm the young, developing brain.